


Cell Block Alpha

by Lightning_Skies



Series: Teen Wolf Goes to the Movies [1]
Category: Chicago (Musical), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Musical, Not Fic, Song fic, lyrics, rewritten song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning_Skies/pseuds/Lightning_Skies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!<br/>Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!</p>
<p>And now the six merry murderers of the Beacon Hills Jail in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Alpha'</p>
<p>'The Cell Block Tango' from Chicago re-written for Teen Wolf... they had it coming</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cell Block Alpha

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what happened. I played 'Just Dance' for two hours with my girlfriends and had a late night exercise high that was heavily influenced by singing and dancing.
> 
> Well, I was in such a state of writing euphoria, I completely blacked out. I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was posting this to Tumblr that I even knew what I'd written.
> 
> They had it coming,  
> They had it coming,  
> They had it coming all along,  
> If you'd have been there, if you'd have thought it,  
> I betcha you would have done the same!
> 
> Slightly edited from the Tumblr version

_**Cell Block Alpha**_  
  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
  
And now the six merry murderers of the Beacon Hills Jail in their rendition of “The Cell Block Alpha”  
  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
  
They had it coming,  
They had it coming,  
They only have themselves to blame.  
If you’d have been there,  
If you’d have seen it,  
I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
Slash, Pills, Oops, Master, Werewolves, Hunters!  
  
[Peter]  
You know how people abandon you,  
When you need them most?  
Like Laura.  
After the fire Laura became my alpha.  
No, not mine. ‘AN’ Alpha.  
So, I wake from a coma this one day,  
And I’m itching for revenge,  
And I’m looking for a little extra power,  
And there’s Laura walkin’ in the woods,  
Searching for an Omega.  
Like she still had a right to the territory.  
So, I said to her,  
I said, “You should have taken revenge for our family…”  
But. She. Hadn’t.  
So I crept up behind her with my claws  
and I tore right into her…  
…I. Tore. Her. In. Half.  
  
She had it coming,  
She had it coming,  
She only had herself to blame,  
If you’d have been there,  
If you’d have been burned,  
I betcha you would have done the same!  
  
[Scott]  
Gerard came to town after the death of Kate, about two months ago.  
And he took control of Jackson, the Kanima,  
Used him to threaten my Mom.  
So, I pretended to follow his orders,  
He told me to join Derek’s pack,  
And I did, we worked together.  
And then I figured out,  
'I want to kill him', he told me?  
Kill him, my ass.  
Not only was he dying,  
…Oh, no, he wanted ‘the Bite’.  
The advanced healing cures cancer, you know.  
So that night, when he kidnapped my best friend,  
Deaton and I had switched out his pills,  
You know, some guys just can’t hold  
Their mountain ash.  
  
He had it coming,  
He had it coming,  
He tried get to me through my Mom,  
And then he used me, to get himself bit,  
I wish that he hadn’t crawled away.  
  
[Derek]  
Now, Isaac and Boyd flooded my apartment,  
Hoping to catch the Alpha pack unaware,  
But the power was cut,  
And in storms Kali and the Twins,  
Angry about Ennis.  
'Kill your pack and join us!”  
Kali shouts. She was crazy,  
And she kept on screamin’,  
"Kill your pack and join us!"  
And then Boyd fell on my claws.  
He fell on my claws ten times!  
  
If you’d have been there,  
If you’d have held him,  
I betcha you would have felt his pain!  
  
[Lydia (Spoken in latin)]  
Certus sum, quid. Cum ego dormies, video quod inconspicuus.  
Qui me cogit, venenum amicis, cum ad convivium meum venire.  
Ego insanio et non est qui recogitet corde.  
Quaerentibus amicis, ut vertunt ut ex antiquo libro de monstris.  
In libro dicitur, quod Kanima inquisitio esse amicum.  
  
 _Yeah, but is the translation right?_  
  
Uh-Uh, Master not friend!  
  
[Stiles]  
My bro Scott and I were kinda a double act,  
And one day we were messing around in the woods.  
Now, I went home but Scott was bitten and changed,  
I had to teach him how to control his new powers.  
Anger, full moons, Derek being a jerk…. murder, mayhem, Jackson.  
We figured it all out, one thing after the other.  
So, one night, right before the showdown, we’re at the Winter formal,  
All together, dancin’, havin’ a few laughs and,  
My date gets shredded, so I trade my life for hers and things happen.  
I caught up to everyone at the Hale house, and there’s Peter and the Argents, trying to kill each other, Scott was already down,  
Well, I was in such a state of shock,  
I completely blacked out. I can’t remember a thing.  
It wasn’t until later,  
When I was washing homemade molotov off my hands that I even knew Peter was dead.  
  
He had it coming,  
He had it coming,  
He had it coming all along.  
I didn’t do it, but if I’d done it,  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?  
  
[KATE]  
Stringing Derek along was fun,  
More than I can possibly say.  
He was a real eager puppy…  
Sensitive… liked music.  
But he was always trying to prove himself.  
He’d come to me every night,  
Looking for comfort.  
Because before he met me,  
He loved Paige,  
She’d died,  
Bitten and terrified.  
I guess you can say we broke up because of family differences.  
He saw them as pack,  
And I saw them dead.  
  
The dirty mutt, mutt, mutt, mutt, mutt  
The dirty mutt, mutt, mutt, mutt, mutt  
  
They had it coming  
They had it coming  
They had it coming all along  
'Cause they were werewolves and I'm a hunter,  
How could the Code say that I was wrong?

They had had it coming,  
They had it coming  
They only had themselves to blame  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it  
I betcha you would have done the same

You should have taken our revenge...  
Kill him, my ass...  
Ten times...  
Quod Kanima inquisitio esse amicum...  
Out at the Hale house...  
Family differences...

I betcha you would have done the same!

Slash!

Pills!

Oops!

Master!

Werewolves!

Hunters!

**Author's Note:**

> Lydia says in really poorly translated Latin cuz I haven't used it in 10 years -  
> (I’m not sure why. When I sleep, I see an invisible man.  
> He forced me to poison my friends when they came to my party.  
> I am going crazy and no one takes it to heart.  
> My friends asked me to translate from an old book of monsters.  
> In the book it says that the Kanima seeks a friend.)


End file.
